Fantasy Movies Ever Made
It’s generally accepted among fantasy fans that sequels suck: Peter Jackson followed his groundbreaking Lord of the Rings trilogy with a Hobbit trilogy so bad you’ll need a lot (and I mean a lot) of Old Toby to finish it. Every now and then, though, we get a fantasy follow-up that puts the original to shame and leaves the audience hungry for more. The best example is Conan the Destroyer, an underrated Arnold Schwarzenegger action masterpiece you can now stream on Netflix.
The plot of Conan the Destroyer is that the titular barbarian and his thief buddy are given a mission by a powerful Queen: they must escort her niece and help her hunt down a magical gem. Thus begins a quest that will take our hero and his eclectic companions on an unforgettable adventure, one which pits them against the deadliest dangers they could ever dream of. This includes a shape-shifting wizard whose evil may soon encompass the entire world unless this group of intrepid adventurers can find a way to kill him, once and for all.
The Ultimate ’80s Cast
The cast of Conan the Destroyer has some major ‘80s names in it, including Olivia d’Abo (best known outside of this movie for Point of No Return) as a virginal princess undertaking a dangerous quest. Two-time championship winner and all-around NBA legend Wilt Chamberlain plays a royal guardsman who is ordered to kill Conan once their quest is completed. Meanwhile, Grace Jones (the iconic singer best known to genre nerds for the James Bond film A View To A Kill) plays a powerful warrior who joins Conan’s quest after he frees her from certain death.
Of course, the biggest star (literally and figuratively) of Conan the Destroyer is Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Terminator 2 legend who more or less defined the action genre in the ‘80s and ‘90s. Conan the Barbarian made him a star, and the actor’s performance in the sequel is even better: Schwarzenegger imbues the character with so much raw charisma and raw strength (just look at those muscles!) that you can really believe he is the most infamous barbarian in the land. Fortunately, the actor also leans into his comedic chops more this time around, helping transform this follow-up film into an adventure that balances both humor and action.
A Hidden Gem Of A Movie
While the first movie was a smash hit at the box office, Conan the Destroyer was relatively disappointing. Against a budget of $18 million, the sequel earned about $30 million, which is less than half of what Conan the Barbarian had earned (though earning $30.1 million in theatrical rentals helped soften the blow). Even though the end of Conan the Destroyer hints at a sequel featuring King Conan, we have never gotten a third film, though Arnold Schwarzenegger has expressed interest in returning to the role that originally made him famous.
When Conan the Destroyer came out, reviewers decided that this film might as well have been a curse sent by Krom himself. On Rotten Tomatoes, it has a 29 percent, with critics complaining that the sequel had lost the razor-sharp edge that made the first film a breakout fantasy hit. Accordingly, they also felt that the follow-up film was a little too campy, which was disappointing to those expecting another relatively serious swords-and-sorcery adventure.
Only One Critic Gets It Right
So, I don’t need the magical abilities of Thulsa Doom to know what you’re saying right now: why the heck am I recommending that you watch a fantasy movie that disappointed at the box office and that was absolutely savaged by critics? For one thing, critics of taste have appreciated Conan the Destroyer from the beginning. Legendary film critic Roger Ebert, for example, gave the movie three out of four stars, declaring that it was “sillier, funnier, and more entertaining” than Conan the Barbarian and that Grace Jones was “really sensational” and brought “all the flash and fire of a great rock stage star” to her performance.
As usual, Ebert got it right: Conan the Destroyer isn’t bogged down by having to give us an origin story or extended exposition for our title character. Instead, we get to jump right into the action and enjoy an average day in the life of Conan, one filled with zany sidekicks, beautiful princesses, and deadly enemies. In this way, the lighthearted sequel (what’s so wrong with campy, critics?) is arguably much more in line with the writings of Conan creator Robert E. Howard, which focused more on this character’s insane side story adventures rather than on the serious world-building seen in the first film.
Vecna, Is That You?
In its own way, Conan the Destroyer is also perfect for Stranger Things fans because this sequel looks and feels like a classic game of Dungeons & Dragons. Our barbarian is joined by characters with various specialties (like a rogue and a fighter) and must lead his party into both mindbending puzzles and life-or-death fights. Trust me, if you already play D&D, you’ll be hungry to roll some D20s with your own party of misfit friends by the time you get to the credits!
Will you agree that Conan the Destroyer is a perfect fantasy sequel, or is this one barbarian movie you’d rather hack with a sword than finish? You won’t know until you find the remote (think of it as a quest!) and stream the film for yourself on Netflix. Just a quick disclaimer, though: I’m not responsible if you end up tormenting your friends and family with bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonations afterward!
